AHAHAH my dad:
"(whispering to my mom) I'm gonna make her give me 100 dollars for that dent."
me: "Okay! Take 100 dollars from me."
". . . IT'S NOT BECAUSE I WANT MONEY! (calms his rage) . . . You need to learn what you did was wrong."
"Hahah! You think I wanted to bump into that other car? Did you think I liked that?"
"NO! RRRRGH! (calms down again) . . . What you did was wrong!"
"Once again, I didn't mean to. And yeah, I wasn't paying attention, but obviously I need to change that."
". . . YOU STILL OWE ME 100 DOLLARS."
"PFF, haha. . . Okay. Take 100 dollars from me. That's obviously gonna make me learn my lesson!"

CRY SOME MORE PAPPY!

Is there ever a job that I'll be good at?
I was constantly corrected when I worked at the ice cream shop, I broke a lot of dishes (not on purpose) at the old folks home, and now I just got a "report" on my "negative behavior" as a teacher. HRRRRRRRGHHHHH

I can never be that "amazing worker", "great artist", or "excellent student". It just bothers me when I get used to who I am (utterly useless) and people just bring it up all over again. I wish I cared, but I'm destined to be a mediocre person.

ANYWAY
( meme time )

Remember the last post about how I said "its not good to drive with my mind everywhere/I haven't slept yet"?

Well.
I backed up and hit a parked car once I was at work.
Laffo. I didn't even fuck up the other car, apparently MY bumper is all fucked up (I was panicking too much to look at my truck, I was late for work anyway). I'm just bummed that the family is all pissy about this-- I can fix the truck. I looked at that car for anything that might've been made by me and there wasn't. So suck my cahooties. :1
In other news, that's the last time I feel like shit about something so menial. I've gotta drop some more annoying information to my boss about two kids fighting (as usual) in my class tomorrow. Ha, I don't have to put up with it after my shift is done, because I AM GOING ON MY VAYCAY HHHHHHHRRRRRRRGGGGGH

Slept for only five hours yesterday, and then I haven't slept at all yet. . . It's 9 am and I have work at 2 30 pm. . .
hurk. Pronounce me dead. It'd be awesome if I slept through work :D I don't even think I can sleep; trying to wake up before five hours is fucking hard to do when sleep deprived.

I'd like to say that I can just go over to Mike's and crash till work, but he has to take a test before I go in, and I can't be driving with my mind all over the place! Fiddlesticks.

p.s.- oh the social life of an internet art tard. stayin' up FOREVER just to see everyone draw and to draw in return. LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP

Two more days 'till vacation. Ughhhhhhh.
Twelve hours doesn't seem that bad. Gotta make it fly by. . .
I don't know what's up, dudes. I've just been so lazy and bummed out. Not a good sign, if you ask me.

Will I ever make useful updates? LOLNO

I don't know if I've stated this, but at work the kids are like the interwebs. One person says/does something, the rest of 'em pick it up, like a meme. Sometimes it is epic.
This week they decided to make those paper "fortune tellers". Of course this is a non-epic child meme, because they distract 'em during class time and I have to seem like I hate their lives and pick them up.
I picked up one of them while they were in another classroom, and read one of the fortunes on the inside:
[sic]"you are an averadge
person with no
debt and a
nissan"

PFFFFFFFFFFFF
I drive a Nissan and they know it.

I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden I feel refreshed and happy. I am quite excited about work today (HUH), but only because I don't have to do sports with them! YAY KARATE THURSDAYS. I can live with the pervy karate teacher eying me when I hide in the air conditioned corner of the room. I can not, however, deal with the 100 degree weather pounding on my angry face while watching kids arguing about how the kickball pitch was curved and then tackling each other to the ground.

In other news, it is ALMOST friday. EXCITEMENT! WEEKEND! MORE DICKING AROUND ON THE INTERNET WITHOUT AN INTERRUPTION FROM WORK!
Five days till my vacay. All I have to say is HELL YES, BROTHER. I am going to camp at Enchanted Rock with Mike. And if he doesn't want to camp for the whole weekend, then I am going to try and fit bobsmoot007 somewhere in that schedule. I miss my jellicle cat.

ENDING CAPSLOCK TRANSMISSION.

Okay, so I'll be going in at 2 from now on till the job is over (august, so close)!
So, I figured out a sweet trick with the too tiny dustpan at work, and they bought a new mop. . . But it's already breaking!

ARRRRRGHH! And I still have to teach them their least favorite classes: sports and art.
Yay, boss. You are so nice to me.

IN OTHER NEWS I HATE MY DRAWING LIFE. I know so many good artists and it's just making me bummed out that I haven't improved in a while. What's a good way to "study", so to speak? Drawing from references? Doing still lifes? I JUST DON'T KNOW.

I finally got done with my hellish two weeks racking up to around 80 hours! Back to 5 hour shifts-- EXCEPT
I get a call today before I was about to wake up (from my boss, of course).
"You're coming in at 2:30 today!"
"Wha. . . ? But I usually go in at 10 am?"
"Yeah, I know. But 2:30, please."
"Err, okay?"

WHAT. Does this mean I did a bad job subbing for her? I don't even know if I'll be going in at 2 from now on.
I hate it because I have to sweep and mop (which wouldn't be bad except the dustpan isn't big enough for the broom, and the mop is breaking apart)! Reminds me too much of my old job. . . !
This is also a gay schedule because for most of my morning I find myself confused on what to do before heading in for work. This makes me become indifferent and just sit my fat ass at the computer till the time to head out.

FUUUU--
I guess I just have to wait till 2:30 to ask her what the happy hap is with my schedule from now on.

Let's not tell anyone that I only slept for three hours after working an 8 hour shift, okay?

I probably won't go to bed till 12 am or something.

GOD BLESS AMURRIKA

I made good internet pals! Laffo, maybe after a year of saying "oh poo i lost all my internet friends" I actually lost all my real friends.
ANYWAY!
Hope u don't mind that i cut my hurr ;*
( da pictures are under herr, dizzog )

I'm ALMOST done with my 40 hour weeks! Sadly, I will be hitting overtime for this week, but not getting paid. TOM-FOOLERY IS ABOUND! I plan on wearing sandals (workers aren't supposed to) tomorrow and friday just because I'm not getting paid the extra amount-- IT'S ONLY FAIR!
I'll be working for about 12 hours each day. Wish me luck!

So I got another parent complaint at work today (so randomly, too)!
According to the parent and their child, during class time all I do is text (uh no) and draw (no, not really).
I find this shocking, because for a minute I was thinking, 'I HAVE? OH SHIT!' and then I realized, 'oh yeah, I'm actually working my ASS OFF during class time'.
I only text and draw during individual reading time (and usually, I read a book also), "computer lab" (which is where they play guitar hero and the wii), and recess.

WOW. My boss wouldn't tell me which parent the child belonged to, but I have a good idea (the child that got me in trouble last time). . . Can you believe this shit? I'm glad that my coworkers (and my boss) believed in me instead of that yellow bellied snake of a child (what, me talking shit about my students? NEVER)!

In other, less shitty news, I'M ACTUALLY GETTING TF2 ACHIEVEMENTS. The skill gods love me!
I've also "found" a few items. . Like the ambassador. MUHUHUHU.

Instead of being productive (which makes me relax), I think I'll just play cooking mama (which makes me wish I was relaxing)! INTERESTING UPDATE

So today at work (haha, I see a trend). . . One of the kids was being an AWFUL little shit. So I told 'em, "you're gonna get a call home." Their response: "My mom will tell me to keep defending myself!"
"I'm sure she would, but I think she'd agree for you to stop being rude to the other guys in here! You're making yourself look like an idiot, and you're not."
"I AM NO IDIOT!"
"With the way everyone is staring at you in this class, I'd say THEY think you are. It's childish."
The kid ran into the bathroom, and apparently for 15 minutes (after I left) they locked themself in there.

PFFFFFFFF
I really don't want to get bitched at the kid's mom in the morning for doing something that my superiors EGGED me to do. But wutevs.

Today at work/class they were supposed to fill out the U.S. map, but they kept looking at the one on the wall.
I pulled it off the wall and said "THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!"
It wasn't funny to them!
Whoops

I just got back from the Natural Bridge Caverns, a. . Cavern.
Anyway, we took the kids there for a field trip. It was amazingly fun (especially since I got in for free and didn't have to do much beside corral the kids into a single file line).

I have more word gems from the kids:
-(Sing to the tune of "Blame It (on the Alcohol)" by Jamie Foxx) "Blame it on the swine, got you feeling fine, blame it on the muh-muh-muh-mexicans!"

-(In regards to me swinging with them at the playground, in awe)"I have never seen a teacher swing. . . Well, the one that threw up afterwards didn't count!"

-Two kids playing tag, one stops and starts shaking his butt and sings: "I'm I'm I'm shaking my tush in your direction!"
". . . Dude, that's just wrong. . ."

-(After one kid asks specifically if I am over 16) "How did your Sweet 16 feel? (she starts getting excited) Magical?"

-(In the cavern today, a kid broke his camera) "But. . . I wanted to take a picture of the FERN!! (sobs)"

When the van dropped me off after the Cavern trip, all the kids were going to go swimming. I forgot to bring my bathing suit, so I started to wave good-bye. They started going, "NOOOO, MISS MADISON, YOU HAVE TO COME!!" "AWW, MAN! YOU SHOULD COME! BYE MISS MADISON!" "Mrs. San Miguel, I think you should let Miss Madison come!" ;.; So cute.

While driving from work to Mike's, a squirrel ran in front of my truck!
For you Texans, we all know this is a common occurrence. BUT STILL, IT WAS MY FIRST ANIMAL-RUN-IN. I was big pimpin' and managed to break in time, thus sparing animal heaven another goddamned squirrel.

Phew.

P.S.- When it comes to playing sports with the kids, I want to punch their brains out. Half of them don't wanna play (yeah I was there at one point, but I've realized that you got to TAKE IT LIKE A MAN, SHORTY), and the other half are WAYYY too competitive. It's a pain in the ass when the competitive kids notice the lethargic kids and get totally fumed: "WHY ARE THEY NOT PLAYING?! MY GOD, DO I HAVE TO PUT THE WHOLE TEAM TOGETHER GEEZ COME ON YOU GUYS NEED TO PLAY HEY HEY HEY COME ON GET ON MY TEAM JESUS I NEED MORE PLAYERS" insert dialogue such as that for 30 minutes. Then trying to get the lazy as fuck kids to play is just. . No.
Not even the "I'm gonna make you write a paper" trick is working (next time I intend on making them write a damned paper, tho). |:1 So now I just sit there with the lazy kids making a super angry face for thirty minutes.

I will try to find more word gems from the kids some other time, I am starving and my neck hurts!

First day off from work, I sleep till 11 am, and then go back to bed at 3pm in the same day.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT

sims 3 is major fun. I'm sad it doesn't run on my comp though :(

AHEM.

Yeah. Have been listening to this nonstop.
:D

So far, they have said some funny as hell stuff. I'm trying to remember most of it:
-*one child after getting wood chips thrown down her shirt* HEY! What if I was wearing a. . . *mouths out the words* BRA? *finally, out loud* I'm trying to grow my chi-chis.

-"WHAT THE FLAGNARD?"
"Hey, they say that in Monsters versus Aliens. . COMING OUT ON DVD THIS TUESDAY!" <- lol advertisements.

-*one kid just randomly bored of his worksheet, holds hands in a gun position* "FLAMETHROWER! PSHHHHHHHHH"

-*me noticing two kids tucking in their shirts at the same time, with a worried look on their faces* "Why are y'all tucking in your shirts?"
"We don't want our B.C.s showing."
". . . B.C.? I don't know what that is."
*giggle giggle, look at each other* ". . . BUTTCRACK!"
*look of scared realization* "WAS MY B.C. SHOWING, YOU GUYS?!"
"If it was, I would NOT want to look." XD

- *kid sees me looking at his bandaid* "I got a piece of wood in my hand and so the other teacher put alcohol on it; it's drunk right now." *flails hand*

- A group of kids during recess just throw dead grasshoppers in an ant pile. It's called "TORTURE PIT"!

-*Trying really hard to explain kickball* "You know how to play baseball, right?"
". . . Yes." *nodding furiously, eyebrows furrowed*
"Okay. Well, instead of using bats, we use our feet."
". . . I DON'T GET IT!"

-"I CAN'T LAY DOWN WHILE WATCHING THE MOVIE!! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! AND THAT DARN OLD LADY, TOO!" <-- this kid is a total drama queen. He's probably the youngest there!

anyway, off to making 'thank you' cards for graduation. :B